Mom guilt is alive and strong when you work, especially when you are homeschooling or have young children at home! “How can you give your kids the full attention they deserve when you are working? Your kids are only young once, why can’t you wait until they are older? You are being selfish. You aren’t able to balance it all because you aren’t living your calling. Your kids should be your top priority.” I have heard it all you guys! As a work from home mom who homeschools, manages my home, and tries to balance on the teetering edge of madness… I have for sure been judged by other moms who aren’t as divided as I am. And the thing is, I don’t even get mad anymore because I get it. There is an element of truth to what they are saying, I know where they are coming from! But there are some very real benefits that I see being instilled in my children BECAUSE I work! This is not just another “the kids are alright post” but rather a “the kids are thriving” post. May it give you strength when you feel judged or guilted for what you do.
20+ Things My Kids are Learning Because I Work
- The world does not revolve around you. My kids learn to wait for me if I am in the middle of something.
- Mom answers to someone too. It can be hard for kids to understand why they have to listen to us. I get to model that everyday with my kids because I answer to someone too!
- To pursue their passions, dreams, and use their gifts. They see me as more than just their mom, they see that there is a whole other side to me and that I use these passions and gifts.
- When you fail, you try again. Before I started blogging, I started and closed a number of businesses. I have ALWAYS been working on something on the side. My kids have seen me fail, a LOT. But they also see me tweak and adjust and sometimes cry, then pick myself up and try again! What a huge life lesson!
- The fun stuff takes sacrifice. You want to go on that trip or buy that new basketball net? I have to work! The budget for extra stuff comes from what I contribute so my kids have learned that we ALL sacrifice and yet we all collectively benefit. I get paid for what I do, but I don’t earn money for nothing. I reap what I sow.
- To be more independent and self-reliant. Studies have proven that children of working moms are more independent and self-reliant. My kids do a lot around the house, they make breakfast and lunch, they do most the laundry and contribute, they learn to try first and ask if they get stuck.
- To enjoy the time we do get together. We get less time, no question, but when we do have time as a family, we make sure it is quality time that we won’t ever forget! We learn to all treasure these times, that hard work is rewarded.
- To appreciate what I do. Being a mom is a pretty thankless job, but when I am working hard to meet a deadline and dinner is frozen pizza a few nights in a row, EVERYONE appreciates when the deadline is met and I can make a home cooked meal!
- There are consequences in real life. If I don’t meet a deadline, I don’t get paid. If I don’t do a good job, I will lose customers. If I don’t work on my blog, my audience will lose interest. This is a real life example that consequences don’t just go away when you are older.
- How to work as a team (and why that is important). I love this one because our family is so much more team-oriented when I am working. We all have a part to play, and our parts are vital! My kids aren’t required to do chores because I want them to learn responsibility, they are required to do chores because I NEED their help. They feel useful and helpful and learn that we all work hard so that we can enjoy that weekend at the beach
- Modelling Equality/partnership. My 6 year old son is trying very hard to figure out where moms and dads fit on the ‘hierarchy’. He told me the other day “Mom, you are lucky dad bought that keyboard for you because he has money.” We are able to not just teach our kids with our words, but model for them an equal partnership. When my 6 year old says something like that or asks who bought something, we show and model and explain that we are a team. That we both contribute equally and that it is not HIS money and MY money, but OUR money.
- That working can take different forms. Daddy has a career that he trained for and dresses up in uniform to go to each day. Mommy finds and pursues work for herself. My kids are learning that work doesn’t have to fit into a box, to dream and be visionaries, to see the possibilities and have a new perspective.
- SEE passion, perseverance, commitment. When daddy goes to work, the kids just see him go and money come in. When I work from home they see daily just how hard I work and how much it takes. They understand that I am passionate about my work, that I am committed to it and that I persevere, even when it gets hard.
- They learn skills. My kids are learning skills through my business. I put them to work doing simple tasks for my blog, they often take pictures for me or help me review something on a video. They are learning all sorts of skills and potentially could start doing more of a family business and being more involved.
- How to be Entrepreneurial. I am so entrepreneurial, I see a business opportunity in nearly everything! My kids have definitely picked up on that! They are always coming up with ideas to start their own businesses or sell something.
- How to manage stress. Mommy gets stressed. I have deadlines and negative comments and sometimes I book too much at once. My kids see me stressed out and also see how I manage that stress on a regular basis.
- The importance of balance. I don’t always get it right, in fact I often excel in a few areas and fall flat on my face in others. I am not always modelling perfect balance, but I am always modelling the *need* for balance. My kids can tell when I have spent an entire day on the computer because we all feel the sacrifice when there is nothing for dinner and the house is a mess! The next day I have to swing the pendulum to the other end and focus more on the house and meals to try to find the balance I am always running after!
- How to take risks. Owning your own business is always a risk. I often invest in an idea I have had or buy something to give away *hoping* that it will serve me in the long run. I talk about this with my husband and kids and they all wait with me to see what will happen. They are learning to take risks and not be afraid of failure.
- How to be disciplined. While I teach them to do their school whether they feel like it or not, they see me stick with a post or video whether I feel like it or not. I have missed out on events or family days or the beautiful sun because I just can’t leave my work. It sucks, but it shows them that I am disciplined.
- How to manage your time. There is a time to work and a time to rest. I carefully plan my days to try to fit it all in and my kids see that. The days I fail sometimes speak louder than the days that I get it all right, but either way they are learning that I pay close attention to my time and am always tweaking our days to see how I can be more efficient.
- How to prioritize. I can’t do it all every single day. I just can’t. So I have my life carefully prioritized so that when a conflict arises I am able to identify what is most important. I have learned that while my head wants a clean and pristine home, that is almost always the last priority on my list. Even when it is a hard choice, my kids see me sticking with my priorities and letting go (or saying no) of things that are not as important.
- How to define success. Is success defined by how much money you bring in or how clean your house is? Is it defined by how much my kids know or how happy they are? We talk about this a lot in our house, and often when we leave other people’s houses. We compare how they define success vs. us and teach our children that we have to find what success means to us. They see us battling with this constantly, redefining it for ourselves on a regular basis.
The Give and Take
Here’s the reality you guys, it is always a give and take. I am not saying you SHOULD work, there is no question I could write another post about the cons of working from home. There are absolutely sacrifices that you and your family will suffer if you are working. The house won’t always be clean, dinner might be from a box again, you might miss out on enjoying that sunny day. I hope that this post helps you to be confident in what you are choosing for your family. It’s not about what is “right” it is about owning your decision and seeing that there are two sides. So if you are working and have been feeling guilty about that (whether you NEED to or simply CHOOSE to) STOP! Right now, lay it down you guys! Because your kids are learning *through* the sacrifices that they see. And if you are 100% a stay at home mom and thinking your kids are missing out because you aren’t working… STOP! Own the fact that you are able to excel at what you do and are doing what is right for YOUR family.
Are you looking for a way to work from home?
Remember that entrepreneurial spirit I was talking about? I see a business opportunity in EVERYTHING! I love blogging because of the freedom it gives me to be my own boss, to set my own schedule, and to set my own priorities. I do get paid for what I do, and it is blessing our family in a huge way. We are paying off debt 70% faster because of what I am able to bring to the table and it has become so much more than just a hobby! I started out a year ago knowing absolutely nothing and have learned through a LOT of trial and error. If you are interested in custom one on one coaching from me on either how to start a blog or how to make money from the blog you already have, I would LOVE to help you! And I am so confident that if you put the time in you WILL earn money after these courses! Send me a message on my contact page HERE and I would love to give you more information.
Or take a look at doTERRA and join my team here.