I know you. There have been times in my life I have been you! I know you are just excited and passionate about what new thing you have discovered that is working for you- I am happy for you! But you REALLY, SERIOUSLY need to stop with the verbal diarrhea. You know what I am talking about here… the gushing. Because you see, the “magic formula” you have found for making money, or getting your kids to sleep, or dealing with that behaviour, or fixing your marriage, or education, or or or… may not work for me!
Dear mom who is doesn’t see.
In all your gushing and excitement and enthusiasm, have you missed what is going on around you? Do you see that I am struggling, that your “smashing success” is even maybe hurtful to me? Do you see that I am a different person with my own story and my own struggles and my own family dynamics who may have tried that (and failed)? Do you see me, or are you blinded by your eagerness?
Dear mom who doesn’t listen.
You talk and talk and talk about your newest found “solution” or “idea” or “endeavor.” I am happy for you, truly I am! But do you take the time to pause and listen to what is happening in my life? You are so fast to speak, so slow to listen! You are eager, you are full of answers! Every time I see you there is some new fad or business or book or way of life. Always pressing, always pushing, always bombarding me with it over and over and over. But are you so full of answers that you don’t hear me? Do you realize you are pushing me away?
Dear mom who thinks her way trumps all others.
I love your passion! It is one of the things I love most about you! You bring life and you believe in everything with all of your being! But are you so passionately focused on something that you are closed to anything else? When I mention that I am trying something different than you, do you shoot me down? Is it your way or the highway? Is this relationship REALLY a two-way street? Is your way ALWAYS going to be better?
Dear mom who I am starting to avoid.
If every single time I am with you, you have the BEST children, and the BEST answers and the BEST solution… I have nothing to offer you. You see, I have a life with problems and troubles, successes and wins! I too have answers that are working for my family.
I too have a voice!
Life is too short to waste time on a one-sided relationship, so PLEASE stop dominating our friendship! Take a breath to let me speak, be open to what new things are working for me these days, take a second to read the struggle or frustration or excitement written on my face! And I’ll be happy to do the same for you!
Love your quieter friend.
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