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The Day I Gave Up On Homeschooling…

I gave up on homeschooling! Yes, I did! I just had it and had to say: “No more!” I gave up on homeschooling PERFECTLY, without any flaws! I gave up on having the perfect homeschool room that never gets used and buying curriculum other moms brag about that don’t work for my children and are simply not a perfect fit for us! So, you really thought I gave up on homeschooling completely? Oh NO. I have tons of reasons I love homeschooling and would never give it up! I gave up on perfection. Perfection according to others, to books and magazines. Perfection that brings comparison. Perfection that makes me constantly dissatisfied, constantly upset because things did not go according to my big unrealistic plans I copied from somebody else! ย This kind of perfection sucks and I’m done with being that person. Make sure to pin this for later!

I gave up homeschooling

I Gave Up On Homeschooling to Someone Else’s Standards

I gave up on trying to do all those amazing “pin” ideas we spend hours to find on Pinterest, that I would never feel natural doing it with my kids and just the thought of the mess will drive me crazy even before I start it! Yes, they are awesome and I wish I was the kind of mom who is all about doing hands-on projects, arts, and crafts, etc. But I am not and I found out that trying to be someone I am not or doing things that are not natural to me and to my family will not in any way make our homeschool days successful. I need to be simply me and homeschool my kids out of my strengths, my gifts, and talents. Don’t get me wrong, I love challenges and I do challenge myself but I’ve learned that everything organic is better. Let nature takes its course in your homeschool. What feels natural to you? Reading books? Going for nature walks? Playing board games that teach your kids? What do you and your children enjoy doing together?

See, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, my mom would tell me, and so is perfection! Perfection is what fits you! It’s what fits your family, your personalities, your learning styles, your lifestyle. Perfection is doing homeschool over the kitchen table if this is the most comfortable spot for you and your family. You don’t need a school room out of a magazine, but if you do have one and love it, this is your perfect learning spot! Last year, I got very ill for many months, I had chronic stress, adrenal fatigue, Hashimoto’s kicking in full speed and my body stopped absorbing iron, while I had days I couldn’t hold a glass of water in my hands, my kids brought their books and sat around me to do school. I still get emotional remembering does days and can’t help but cry while I type this. It wasn’t the place that was important to them, it was what we did together that we loved so much and did not want to miss a day doing it.

I gave up on Homeschooling to Accomplish a To-Do List

I recently wrote a blog post about slowing down and making memories with our children. Life is too short and we never know when our last day will be. I want to make memories with my children. I want every day to be the best day of our lives. I want to get to the end of my day thanking God for giving me those moments I will never forget! Knowing that my kids love to learn and I still love to teach them. Having a beautiful and strong relationship with my children is the most important thing to me. What kind of memories do you want your kids to have from your homeschooling days? I don’t want my kids to remember me as a sergeant who dictated the orders in the morning every day and pulled out the huge to-do list as I piled up the books over the table – yes I did that on my first years of homeschooling! I am so glad those days are over and I bet my kids are too!

What do you picture as a perfect homeschooling day within your natural abilities and your kids learning styles? Do you beat yourself up most of the time charging yourself with guilt and condemnation because you think you are not perfect? Please don’t do that to yourself! You are perfect if you don’t try to imitate anyone else or do things that are not natural to you. Now, close your eyes and imagine having that perfect homeschooling day where everyone is loving it and have a big smile on their faces? Please,ย pause here and do that. What was it like? What were you doing? How were you learning? You are on this homeschooling journey with your heart and your soul because you love your children and you want the best for them! I’ll tell you this, my kids still think the best thing for them is when mommy is fully present, cuddling on the sofa (even if some of them are upside down on the sofa), reading them stories and talking about it afterward. We have the best conversations after reading books together and draw many lessons out of it. Maybe we just need to simplify our idea of “perfect home education” so we can focus on seeing beauty in the ordinary moments of our days instead, and understand that our children are learning and growing beautifully as we simply love on them and create memories together – and that, dear homeschooling mom – it’s just PERFECT!

And with all these things, love, which is the bond of perfection. Colossians 3:14.

Are you a Perfectionist or Having a Hard Time Letting Go of the List?

Do you keep spending hours to find what is the perfect this or that to do with your kids but at the end don’t even do what you spent hours researching, printing out, etc or hated the outcome or the experience of it? What is a perfect fit for your family when it comes to homeschooling? I would love to hear your comments below!

Comments

  1. This is so perfect! I kind of tackled this in my post about The Everything Mom! This is just applying the same concept to Homeschooling. Embrace what you enjoy and don’t worry about the rest!

    • Thanks, Melissa! I had to stop making myself and my kids uncomfortable by doing things it didn’t fit our family. Being real and true to our nature is so freeing! We love homeschooling a lot more now. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Yes. This. So many women are getting caught in the comparison trap. Feeling like they are missing something, but truly they aren’t. They are just meant for something a bit different, a unique path for their family. Thanks for sharing this Ana!

  3. Thanks, Forest! Comparison is something I’m putting behind in order to walk in freedom in our homeschool! As you said, I want to embrace and enjoy the uniqueness of my family. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Yes I am a perfectionist! But homeschooling has taught me to go with the flow; more often than I’m usually comfortable with but I can’t deny all that my boys have learned even when we don’t get through all the stuff on my to do list.

  5. This will be our first year as a homeschool family and I knew from the beginning that God placed it on our hearts and that was the design for our family. I tussle back and forth all the while hearing God but being afraid of what he wanted me to do. This post has given me just that more confidence to do just as God has planned for our family. Thank you Ana and Rebecca for sharing this wisdom.

  6. I just found your site through Pinterest/Instagram. I wonder if I could ask for some advice. My children are 9 1/2 & 3 1/2. My oldest is already in the school system. Finishing 3rd grade. Is homeschooling something I could still do & what options are there? Is any of it free? If not, what is the average amount spent per year on one child? Do homeschooled children feel friendless? I’ve put myself in a spot where I don’t have any close friends & I don’t know how to fix it. It doesn’t feel like anybody needs a bff. I don’t want my kids to go through this.
    My reason for wanting a change is I don’t like our school options right now. Our elementary school has been going through some changes that are weakening it. My oldest is one of those ones that we feel should be challenged. Right now in school, he gets bored.
    Thank you in advance for any information you can offer me.

    • First of all, thanks for taking the time to comment and share what is on your heart. Yes, yes, yes. You can absolutely homeschool at any time! Depending on where you are, every state is a bit different as to if you have to give a notice letter to the school, etc. but you can absolutely homeschool! Many people have put their kids in the school system and left to homeschool them!

      It can be free, it can cost a fortune, it depends on what you want, how your child responds to different curriculums, and your teaching style. I would head over and take the learning style quiz, https://homeschoolon.com/the-learning-style-quiz. If you can tell me what yours (just make it relateable to you), and your children’s learning styles are, I’d be happy to give you suggestions for curriculum and any other info I can. Shoot me an email at rebecca@rebeccaspoonerpgblog.com and let’s chat!

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