I used to review curriculum, now I create it

My Number 1 Secret in My Homeschool Day

I have never made it a secret that I don’t have it all together. In fact, if anything, I struggle with this whole blogging world of homeschoolers. Feeling like I don’t possibly fit in with their immaculate school rooms and organized little desks and clean kitchen tables. Here I sit, homeschooling my 5 kids, an expert in the field, and yet I fail>>> DAILY! I mean, you guys, it’s pretty evident from what I post and the pictures I take that there is always a mess lurking in a corner, my kids’ faces are dirty, our house is a fixer upper that might never be fixed and I’m not actually sure what we accomplished for school today 😮

But I LOVE homeschooling. The mere thought of putting my kids in school makes me want to cry. I don’t want to be apart from them! I don’t want to miss all those moments in our days: the snuggles on the couches, the discussions over our millionth snack of the day, the FUN! Homeschooling brings me joy, SO much joy; even in the midst of the chaos that brings me stress 😉  It’s a dichotomy, this whole homeschooling thing. It doesn’t make sense how I can be driven crazy by the constant pull of my life and yet be excited to go to bed just so I can wake up and start all over again.

My #1 Secret in my Homeschool Day

What is my secret? How do I get it all done? How do I stay sane?

I know this is cliché, but someone out there needs to know that this isn’t me. My joy isn’t something that comes from within, my perseverance isn’t some deep well in my soul, my drive isn’t an energizer bunny that no one else has. My secret is not in what I do (clearly, form the state of my house) or how well I take care of myself (wait, coffee doesn’t count as WATER?!?!?!), it is He that is within me. I know, I know, cliché, but bear with me.

My number one secret is that I am in an intense, passionate, deep and lasting relationship with God. This ain’t no “go to church on Sunday” kind of faith; it ain’t no “pray to the sky” kind of conversation. I hear God’s voice daily, I teach my kids to hear God’s voice. I blare worship music all day long and get totally lost in it. I read my Bible and journal and write sermons (one day I’m going to have a word to share ya’ll!) and I run, every day, excitedly after Jesus. I don’t need to go to Bethel ya’ll, it’s Bethel up in here most days ?

First and foremost, before I am a homeschool mom, before I am a wife, before I am a mom or homemaker, I am a child of God.

I get it… she’s one of “those” crazy charismatic types

It wasn’t always like this. I have been a Christian my WHOLE life. In fact, I used to feel super insecure about that. I mean, other people had these insane testimonies. They were in super dark places and God just pulled them out powerfully, why didn’t I have a story like that? I remember as a teen being asked to share my testimony and I would be embarrassed, I mean who wants to hear “I became a Christian when I was three and basically have never known life outside of God?” Seriously, did I even UNDERSTAND the joy of my salvation? I’m not sure, I’d never known separation!

I was hungry for more of God, always, insatiable actually. But I grew up in a conservative background with a conservative family and the fears and religiosity of my environment became entrenched within me as well. I wanted more–but nothing weird. I wanted to experience God but keep my dignity (don’t worry, my dignity is totally gone now!). I always heard God’s voice, and had a relationship with Him but it was like I was on the fringe edge of so much more that I couldn’t quite access.

I would have a bad day with the kids and go to bed feeling like a failure. I would determine to wake up earlier, pray more, try harder, only to fail yet again. The year and a half that we were in Masset, a little remote island town an 8 hour ferry ride from the nearest Wal-mart or Starbucks, the walls started to come down. There was no big moment, no powerful encounter that I have to share… I just started to let go and God met me there–every day.

We started a little home church and He showed up. My kids experienced God there, snuggled up in their PJs in an environment where they were welcome to pray and learn and grow. I stopped trying so hard, and started just being with Him and letting His presence, His words, and His grace change me. Dreams, visions, encounters, moments, Masset was full of all of them. It was such a special season in my life, and then it was done.

Undone Homeschooling

All this to say, I’m in a different season now. And I can look back on the other moments in my life and see each one as a different lesson or growth period in this little saga of mine. This is my winter season. For now I am growing my roots, I am becoming a little less impulsive and a little more patient. I am becoming a little less controlling and a little more surrendered. I am finding joy in the mundane, beauty in the simple, and peace in the failures of my days. Because I know that it doesn’t all rest on me you guys. It’s not about what I do or trying harder, it’s about going to Him first.

You see joy isn’t a feeling that can be created or found. It isn’t an emotion that is fleeting or depends on my coffee or how much sleep I’ve had or what kind of day we are having. Joy is from the Holy Spirit and the more time I spend in His company the more He bubbles out of me. He gives me the strength and inspiration and patience and peace to not only survive this whole homeschool thing, but to LOVE it!

So if you are feeling tired, frustrated, impatient, drained, on the last threads of your last rope… maybe it’s because you’re trying to do this all on your own. What have you got to lose?

Curious to see a day in the life of a homeschool mom of 5? Check it out!

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How do I homeschool 5 kids and manage everything in my life? The #1 secret in my homeschool day is probably not what you think!



  1. I just love stopping by here as I get way too many information which is really useful for me as a parent.I use to share everything with my daughter and she really find it informative and quite it gives her a lot of information too.Looking forward for more such posts.

  2. I have similar feelings about my testimony, having become a Christian at the age of 4. I feel encouraged by your joy, and your ability to let go. I constantly desire to draw closer to God, but struggle to actually do it. And even before we’ve started homeschooling, I fear it. I so badly want to have it be successful, but I fear my impatience and short temper. Thank you for being encouraging, and for showing that it an be done with His help, and that it is possible to hunger for God and desire close relationship with Him, even in this busy time in life!
    P.S. My mom lived in Masset for a few years as a little girl! My Grandpa was a teacher there.

  3. I teared up reading this. I have been having such a hard time lately with my kids and homeschooling. I have 3 kids. 7yr old, almost 5 yr old and a 3 month old and since I had the baby its been rough. I wanted to throw in the towel. But then I remind myself how much I enjoy this and I have finally know Gods calling for my life. What you wrote is exactly what I needed to read. I needed to be reminded that I need to run to God first. In the middle of this chaos its so easy to forget to invite him in your day. I just need to lean on him more and give him my day. Also reminded me that even if we are behind some that its still ok to go slow. They will get it soon. Thanks for reading my comment. God Bless you and your family!

  4. I love this so much . I am obsessed with worship music. I have a hard time fitting with people of the church I go to because its just hymns and reverence. I love knowing that someone else out there that loves it as much as I do .

  5. It’s interesting the solution for unhappiness is to grow closer to God. It’s almost a litmas test: if you are close to God you are happy. If you are not, then you must not be close to God.

    Which is interesting, because I can’t think of a scripture that states this. In fact, it made me wonder what Spourgeon would say. One of the greatest theological authors of his time, who suffered great depression. Or King David, who wallowed frequently in depression complaining God left him. Or heck, what about Jesus, who begged God to not ask him to go forward, and then cried to God on the cross, why has he forsaken him? Shame. I guess Jesus was missing his joy – because his walk wasn’t close enough.

    I know this is not fully what you meant, but sometimes you have to stop and say it out loud to realize something’s not right. The fact is, Christians love to find ways to judge who is the better christian, when there really isn’t a way.

    Because, the truth of the matter is, sometimes life sucks. It’s hard and messy, and has nothing to do with how close you are to God.

    • She is saying exactly that. Our HAPPINESS depends on what’s happening. We all have the choice to focus on the current state of our mood, emotions, or happenings. But that is not what gets us through those tough moments. Drawing closer to the truth. Closer to God. And His word, which tells us our circumstances are constantly changing so we should find our joy in His truth that is never changing.
      I am sad that you think Christians are constantly judging one another. From my perspective, as a Christian, I’d say we are always encouraging one another. Which is what Rebecca is doing in this post.
      And you are correct. Sometimes life sucks, and it has nothing to do with how close we are to God. However, those moments are opportunities for us to choose to draw closer to God to get us through, and to change our perspective in it.
      I pray that whatever season you are in in your life, you will see God’s goodness in it.

  6. Hi Rebecca,
    Although I am not a religious person myself, I found your post to be most uplifting and powerful. God is not someone I seek for or hear, but I am a spiritual being that is constantly searching inside myself and leaning on those around me to find that place of peace, gratitude, patience, and love. And you have shown me that to the core, values is what homeschooling is all about. Sure, we want to keep our children developmentally on track, but there is so much more us homeschoolers can offer our kids that is not “traditional” schooling.

    My child is only 16 months, and we are trying for another, so I have started my planning for the formative years. Your knowledge as been so helpful and I look forward to hearing more.

    Thank you,


  7. Rebecca,

    You are one of God’s Great Rock Stars! His beautiful love light flows and glows through you. Your beautiful family is so very blessed. And so am I. You are a significant part of my day. With the help of The Good Lord and you, we got this! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    Some of my favorite moments:

    “I don’t like sleep. It’s boring.” Hilarious!
    “High five! You got three right! Smell the flowers!” Precious.
    And all the hugs and kisses.

  8. Homeschooling also brings me joy, even in the midst of stressful chaos 😉 but sometimes we commission essays from professional writers since we don’t always have time for everything. I found them here.

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I used to review curriculum, now I create it!