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The Pros and Cons of Homeschooling

Homeschooling can be the most wonderful experience of your life or it can make you want to pull out all of your hair. In most instances, it is both. How do you know if homeschooling is for you? What are the pros and cons of homeschooling? As someone who was homeschooled for most of my education and then put into the public school system in high school, I have experienced first hand the benefits that homeschooling had on my life as well as the struggles I faced because of it. As a homeschool mom of five I have also come to appreciate just how challenging it is! Plus my hubby weighs in to share the pros and cons of homeschooling from a dad’s perspective. If you are seriously considering homeschooling your children, I recommend getting a pen and paper and following along with me. Add your own pros and cons that you see for your family or pin this for later so you don’t lose it!

The Pros and Cons of homeschooling from a kids perspective, mom's perspective AND a dad's perspective | benefits of homeschooling | homeschooling benefits | homeschool pros and cons

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Pros and cons of homeschooling from a homeschool kid’s perspective

Before I share what the pros and cons of homeschooling are for YOU as the parents I want to take a minute to discuss what they are from the perspective of someone who was homeschooled. What did I love? What challenges did I face? I think this can really help you see not only the impact it will have on you and your family, but on your child specifically.

Pros and Cons of Homeschooling from a Homeschooled Kid's Perspective

Quirky little homeschooled Rebecca

Pros of being a homeschooled kid

  1. Feeling Safe: As a homeschooled child, I felt safe every day. I was surrounded by people who loved me and believed in me and I never felt fear: fear of failure, fear of my peers, or fear of the unknown.
  2. Confidence Building: When you are homeschooled you have the unique opportunity to find what you are good and and run with it. You can learn the way you learn best. You can explore who you are and where you fit in the world without being put down or mocked. I could pursue my passions so that even if I was lacking in some areas of my life, I had confidence in what I could do WELL.
  3. Relationship: I never thought my family was weird or dumb or beneath me. I loved my brothers and sisters fiercely and have an incredible relationship with them. I often spent more time sharing my heart and dreams and ideas around the kitchen table with my parents than doing workbooks. I had and still have an incredible relationship with my family that would not be the same if we had all been separated by grade.
  4. Learning Discipline: Being in school where your teachers tell you exactly what to do and then watch you do it doesn’t teach self-discipline. Being given assignments and total freedom to accomplish them in your own time DEFINITELY does! I learned to do my work not because a teacher was watching me or checking in on me but because I saw the end goal. I was motivated and this was just another step in the process.
  5. Unique Experiences: People who say that homeschool children miss out have never been homeschooled! I had unique experiences I would never have had in school. I went exploring and adventuring and learned through life. As I got older I did job shadowing, worked, and became self-reliant and independent. If I had an interest, we pursued it. There was no working around schedules, it just happened!
  6. Working at my own pace: I graduated when I had just turned 16 years old because I wasn’t restricted to a grade level. Some years I would do 2 books in a year, other years I’d go a little slower. I had the freedom to be inspired and motivated and run with it rather than becoming bored and stagnant.
  7. Real-life socialization: Rather than being segregated with people the exact same age as me, I learned how to be confident in myself. I could start a conversation with anyone no matter what their age or stage of life.
  8. No Drama: When I did eventually go to school, the drama nearly did me in. I wasn’t used to it, it didn’t make sense to me. Being homeschooled means you don’t have to live in the constant ebb and flow of the latest dramatic event that is going on.
  9. More Mature: Homeschooled kids are more mature for their age. When you think about it, their role models are adults rather than a group of their peers. Maybe that’s why I married a man 7.5 years my senior? 😉

Cons of being a homeschooled kid

  1. Being Misunderstood: A lot of people just don’t understand homeschooling and that can be really frustrating for a homeschooled child. I remember feeling like people were completely ignorant, wanting to explain myself all the time.
  2. Lack of Exposure: Although I had the opportunity to choose my interests and run with them, I didn’t have the same exposure to “everything” to find interests outside of myself. For example, I have recently discovered that I love art and yet I had very little exposure to that growing up for me to learn that earlier.
  3. Less Friends: I definitely had less friends to invite to a birthday party, however this wasn’t really a con for me, it is just a fact that I think needs to be stated. It wasn’t really a con because I still had friends, instead of 20 acquaintance type friends, I had 2 or 3 solid best friends that I could depend on (and I’m still friends with to this day I might add).

Other kids would probably have a different list, but these were the pros and cons of homeschooling for me. As you can see, the pros list CLEARLY outweighs the cons, and it did for me as a kid as well. I LOVED being homeschooled, I cried when I had to go to school in grade 2, every day actually until my mom pulled me back out. I was bullied when I tried school in grade 6 for a year and hated it. And don’t even get me started on high school, a combination of being so much younger than everyone else and feeling like a total fish out of water made high school very difficult for me. But I still had my good friends, my church youth group, and my home where I could be myself and that is really what got me through.

The pros and cons of homeschooling from a homeschool mom’s perspective

Rebecca Spooner from Hip Homeschooling

As a homeschool mom, my perspective changed DRASTICALLY! Now I had the opportunity to find out the sacrifice and some of the challenges that my mother faced! I am sure this list will change over the years, but in the last 5 or 6 years, this is what I have found so far.

Pros of homeschooling

  1. You don’t miss a thing: One of the number 1 joys of homeschooling for me is not missing a moment. I get to be there when they read their first word, I don’t have to hear about it in a report card. I get to watch the breakthrough when they FINALLY (thank God) understand that math concept you’ve been struggling through. I get to journey with my kids in the peaks and valleys of their education and development and it is one of the greatest privileges of my life.
  2. Relationship: I don’t get to just see my kids in the afternoons and evenings, competing with friends and homework and bedtime. Instead, I get to spend all day with my kids, filled with discussion and exploration as a family.
  3. Character: I get to really know my kids and have the time to help them when they are struggling. If my child is struggling with being bossy and controlling or lying, we can take the time to address it in our daily lives.
  4. Values: One of our main motivators for homeschooling is sharing our values in a society whose values are rapidly diminishing. We get to model and talk about kindness, love, being polite, showing empathy and compassion to their younger siblings, etc. We can share our faith and beliefs with our children.
  5. Freedom: When you homeschool you have the ability to teach what you want to teach, to follow their interests or what is relevant to them. You are not bound to read “that particular book” but can choose what your child is passionate about.
  6. Learning WITH my Kids: I love this one. If anyone has watched the show “Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader” you’ll recognize that we really don’t remember most of what we learn in school. But when you teach your kids, you are learning right with them all over again. I sometimes choose topics that I am interested in or what to learn more about because I learn so much more through teaching it than I did through hearing or reading it the first time. Plus, when I am interested in something, my kids can sense my enthusiasm and our lessons are SO much more fun!
  7. A Better Education: Though grades are not my main focus, I know that I can offer my children a better education than the school system. My children are getting one-on-one tailored education instead of being just one in a crowd. We can gently work on the areas they struggle in, approach it differently, we can skip things that are boring to them or too easy.
  8. Sleeping in: For real, I don’t know why this isn’t on every list. I don’t HAVE to get up and get dressed and take the kids to the 7am bus stop. I don’t have to pack all the kids in the car to take them to school. I don’t have to pack school lunches the night before. I mean, this is a HUGE benefit to homeschooling!
  9. More Free Time: Because my kids don’t have to wait for a class of 30 other kids to finish or ask questions or stop goofing off, lessons are WAY faster! We can often finish our school in the morning and have all afternoon to play. We are way more productive with our time and the lessons are more beneficial because they can be tailored to my kids.
  10. See Daddy More: For our family, homeschooling means they see their dad a lot more. With shift work and Monday’s off, if they weren’t homeschooled, they wouldn’t see him when he popped home for lunch or before he left for work in the morning. They would just see him in passing, which is a huge reason homeschooling works so well for us.

Cons of Homeschooling

  1. A Clean House is Dead to Me: My house is never clean. While I do school downstairs with my preschooler, my other children methodically make a mess in the bathroom, pour out all the Lego, get into the coloring books, etc. When I come upstairs it is a mess. When I tidy and go back down it is a mess. No matter how much I do or how hard I work, my house is ALWAYS a mess. This is my life with 5 kids, this is my reality. I have come to accept it as a necessary evil, but it is frustrating.
  2. Homeschooling can be expensive: It doesn’t have to be expensive but often when you are starting out and want all the planning done for you, you choose programs that are all laid out and they are pricey. You now pay for every sport, every music lesson, every interest your child has.
  3. Goodbye Freedom: I miss friends. I miss having a day full of potential. I miss my hobbies. I always have a list of things I could and should be doing. There is no real free time for me anymore unless I get up at 5am.
  4. Homeschooling is a Weight: For better or worse, no matter how much I love it or how many benefits it has for all of us… Homeschooling is a HUGE responsibility! I feel pulled in so many different directions. I often feel like a total failure. When I lose my patience or my child is in tears because they don’t want to do it. There is a lot of pressure to perform.
  5. Lack of Support: while there are support groups out there and co-ops, we have always lived in small towns where that isn’t available to us. There is a lot of negativity around homeschooling. People think we are weird, people judge us, people quiz our kids thinking they must be dumb or super smart. It can feel lonely at times to homeschool, you have to grow a tough skin and just brush off the comments and looks that you get.

For me the pros outweigh the cons. I can live with a messy house, I can find online support groups, I can find ways to homeschool for free OR we can just be willing to invest more in our children’s education. It’s cheaper than private school! I like the challenge *most* days, and I am a better person because I have little opportunity to be lazy (because I can be a total slacker). And above all else, homeschooling is FUN! So much fun! It isn’t just a list of pros and cons for me, it is a lifestyle that I am in love with and I can’t imagine giving that up anytime soon!

Pros and cons of Homeschooling from a homeschool dad’s perspective

Pros and Cons of Homeschooling from a Homeschool Dads Perspective
As I was wrapping up this post and making sure I covered all my bases, I decided to go to my hubby, Jonathan, to ask him what he thought the pros and cons were of homeschooling. I wanted to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. When his list was completely different than mine, I realized we should just finish this post with a complete perspective outlook. So here you have it, the pros and cons of homeschooling from a homeschool dad’s perspective!

Pros of homeschooling

  1. Homeschooling makes my wife more attractive: there is an appeal to your woman taking care of the kids and committing to her family so wholly.
  2. Brag worthy: I love bragging that my wife homeschools to my co-workers. I know my kids are getting a better education and I am proud of it.
  3. Flexibility:When I’m off, my kids are there, no matter when that is. My days off are more satisfying, they aren’t complicated by running kids around and we aren’t housebound. We’re ready to go at a moment’s notice!
  4. Less Stress: I am not worried about my children’s education, safety, or emotional well being. I know where they are at all times and don’t have to wait for a report card to tell me if there is trouble.
  5. I know Where My Wife Is: I don’t have to worry about where Rebecca is or if she is okay. She doesn’t spend as much money and I feel confident and at ease knowing she is at home, or adventuring, with the kids.
  6. Home is Alive: our home is a constant buzz of activity, a hub. When kids are in school, everything is pulling you away from the home: school, after school activities and events. With homeschooling our home is being used everywhere, in every way (I can clearly see that by the total mess when I walk in the door).
  7. Routine vs. Schedule: We aren’t slaves to a schedule where if we are late, something doesn’t get done. My kids do chores, clean their rooms, and participate in our home every day, whether they get up at 6 or 9am.
  8. Accessibility: Growing up in a family where my mom and dad divorced when I was young, she was often unavailable. If I wanted to participate in an activity or missed the bus or was sick or got in trouble, I would have to call someone else because my mom was working and going to school. In fact, I could not really depend on my parents. It was important to me that my kids had a parent who was available for them if they needed them. I know that Rebecca is always there, even if I am not.

Cons of Homeschooling

  1. I Miss Alone Time with my Wife: If my kids were in school we would only have one kid at home during the day as opposed to 5. I miss just having her to myself. She is always busy doing something.
  2. My Wife is Exhausted: ALL the time. She is tired. She spends her evenings planning, her days schooling, she is always parenting or cleaning or cooking or teaching. She never get’s a break and I don’t like it.
  3. A Babysitter is Expensive, School is Free: No free childcare, ’nuff said.
  4. Homeschooling is a Big Responsibility: We take sole responsibility for our children’s education. There is no one to blame if something isn’t working. it’s easy to criticize teachers and the “system” when things aren’t going right, it is a lot harder to take responsibility.

What are the pros and cons of homeschooling for you? Comment below!

Comments

  1. This is the most lovely homeschool article I have ever come across. Such an honest and heartfelt look at a subject most people don’t really understand. I have been on the fence about homeschool versus Montessori so this was particularly helpful to me. I love that you shared your experience as someone who was homeschooled; that is not a perspective that is easy to come by. You even included the POV of your spouse! I really feel like I got the full perspective from your article. Thank you for sharing your experience!

  2. I appreciated the different views! One more pro for me for homeschooling is that my kids have time to learn and take on household responsibilities. My kids (10 and 8) know how to wash, fold and put away laundry, etc. I need their help to make it work and they are learning skills they will need in the future.

    • Yes, that is SO true! My 7 and 8 year old do most the laundry in our house. I have days I feel bad about the fact that my kids are asked to pitch in a lot, but the reality is exactly as you say, I need their help, they learn responsibility and skills. That’s real life education right there! Thanks for commenting Christina!

  3. yessss. I have 2 in college and a senior and have homeschooled all along. Problem now is that the lack of freedom and “the weight” are getting old after 20 years at this. I am tired and read this wondering if it really was worth it. Thank you for the encouragement.

    • Aw Brandy, that is amazing! You should be telling us all how to do it 😉 So glad to hear it was encouraging! Thanks so much for commenting!

  4. I really enjoyed this post. Thanks!
    I am also in Canada! In the maritimes 🙂 We’re only in the beginnings of homeschooling with our oldest being 6 years old but I am really enjoying this lifestyle.

    • Hi Genieve, I love your name, wow! Beautiful! And yay for another Canadian, though we are very far apart, I am literally on the furthest little island on the other side of the country, ha! I hope you guys LOVE homeschooling and if you have any questions or need ideas along the way… shoot me an email or FB message! I will help however I can!

  5. I really enjoyed hearing your husband’s thoughts. I’m embarrassed to say that I haven’t really thought much about how my husband feels about everything; I’m just trying to keep my head above water! I’m going to ask him tonight!

  6. Pro: My senior (who is a singer) is getting to participate in 4 choirs including 2 community choruses, a college choir and her regular homeschool choir. On top of that she has site Music site reading, Music theory and vocal classes. This takes up half her week. Perhaps it falls under perusing her interests, but if she went to public school, we might only get to do two of those things. At the same time academically she doesn’t have to take stuff she’ll never use, which frees her time up to do all the above. On top of that, if she needs more time to complete an impressive senior year, she actually can stretch her senior year into two years without it looking like she failed a grade.

    Cons: nobody believes it! Lol!!

    Keep up the good work. Love the blog.

    • that is a HUGE pro! Wow! I hope to offer my kids the same kind of freedom to run with their interests when they are older as well. Thanks for sharing! It encourages us all that it is still possible when the kids are older 😉

  7. “I love bragging that my wife homeschools to my co-workers. I know my kids are getting a better education and I am proud of it.” Is is necessary to brag? Homeschooling might be the right choice for your family, but that doesn’t mean that your kids’ education is better. Public and private schools are a great choice for many families also. Let’s embrace our differences instead of putting others down for their choices.

    • Please note that doesn’t say “mock” or “put down” or “ostracize” or “criticize”. He is proud of the fact that we homeschool, he is confident in it. I think being proud to tell his co-workers is a positive thing. He isn’t judging them or telling them our way is better, he is saying that when he tells his friends or people he works with, he is proud of what I do. I have never had one of them (all of whom we are friends with) tell me they felt put down by the fact that he is proud.

      • Absolutely…. when men say they are proud of their wives, its not bragging…its exalting, as in Proverbs 31 exalting!

  8. That male perspective is absurdly sexist. “HIS” woman is more attractive at home? He’s happy because he knows where she is? He doesn’t want her out “spending money”? And his complaints are that his wife is tired and too busy for him? Wow, get over it buddy, or maybe chip in a little more. Unreal.

    • It’s only sexist if you want it to be. She is HIS wife. He loves her and worries about her like a good husband would. Do you not worry when you don’t know where the person you love is? I worry when my husband does not answer because he is out driving and could have been in an accident or injured at work. He has the pro of knowing his family is safe together at home. How is that a bad thing? And she’s probably attractive when she stays home because she’s happy doing it and she’s happily raising his kids the way they want to. How is that bad??
      Oh and if she was bored alone at home she would probably shop unnecessarily. I know I would.

    • I don’t normally comment on these sites but I have to say this: so what is wrong with what her husband said? I think it’s endearing! I think your comment is pretty harsh. She is not you so you don’t have to worry that your husband would ever think that or say that, right? Why does everything have to be so neigative these days? 🙁

    • Oh get over it!!! Everything is offensive to everyone nowadays! It’s irritating, why be so negative? Good God get a life!

    • Like it or not the dude is just expressing how he feels toward his wife seeing her teach their kids. Not sure how a viewpoint can be wrong.

  9. Thanks for the article. Your husbands perspective was nice to see. It’s rare to hear from the dad’s side. We’re at the very beginning of our homeschool adventure so I love hearing others experiences.

  10. Hi Rebecca

    I am a first timer and STILL really anxious about this whole homeschool thing. Every night I wonder whether we made the right decision to homeschool our kids. We live in South Africa and due to an amazing job oppertunity my husband works 600 kilometers away and we don’t have a lot of time to see each other or for him to spend time with the kids. In South Africa the schools are all Afrikaans in the area he works and our children speak English even though we can speak Afrikaans. So we decided to move to where he works and homeschool our children… I am literally crying as I can totally relate to the pro’s and cons you shared and it really makes me feel encouraged to keep going no matter what. To keep our family together and make the sacrifices that come with homeschooling. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

  11. I love the reality of this post. Pros and cons. I wasn’t home schooled so I don’t have that view at all. BUT I enjoyed reading yours. FROM where we sit…..he pros out weigh the cons.. and we shall carry on. I mean why not? I am 3 down, 2 to go… 6th grader and a 10th grader. THX

  12. What an insightful post!
    Thanks for sharing the different perspectives. I have a 3 yr old boy and a 1 yr old girl, and am planning on homeschooling! I really appreciate your genuineness and sense of humor. ???

  13. Wow i really love your post. I am in year two of homeschooling and there are so many days where I want to throw in the towel or I’m so exhausted I could sleep for 3 days or I feel like we haven’t accomplished a third of what “normal” kids do on the average school day. Then every so often i have a golden day where we have fun and learn and love on each other and It drives me to go through those down days all over again. Thank you again for showing everyones perspective. i was never homeschooled so all my memories good and bad come from traditional school so its hard to compare all the time to what I did as a kid. Hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving.

    • I wasn’t homeschooled either…. be encouraged that you are probably accomplishing more than you realize. Plus, every child learns at a different pace and have different strengths. For example, my girls have all been early readers, but athletics was maybe not our strength. Learning to ride bikes, skating, etc. didn’t come as naturally. But, my friends kids are incredibly athletic and their gymnastics abilities would blow you out of the water. Both her son and daughter weren’t reading until 7…. So…. comparison is the enemy here. I would encourage you to study up on learning styles and just go with it. Plus, your children might even learn differently than you, so thats a fun puzzle to work out. My second daughter is mathematical like her dad. She thinks in black and white terms… my eldest is creative and tactile. She takes to art easily and with confidence. My third is outgoing and dramatic….her thing is acting out scenarios and learning by doing… So, embrace the strengths…relax a bit…. and this is also the beauty of homeschooling. The timetable is yours. If a subject takes longer, then… let it take longer. Chances are, you won’t have to repeat or “review” as much In following years… If something catches on quickly, celebrate the achievement. Homeschooling also works when you are willing to make adjustments along the way. It’s not about “ideals” , its about having the freedom to change things as needed. For example, I homeschool but I also run a dayhome from our house. This worked great until last year when my eldest was longing for more social time. This year, we’ve enrolled them in a co-op and it has been a game changer! Don’t give up, ask for help when you need it, and PRAY! The most important element is Christ’s wisdom through these precious years

  14. The husband part just made me cry..lol. Great to ask him that, definitely boosts your confidence in your crazy life 🙂 I can hear my hubs saying the same things..great post.

  15. So we have a 21 month old and 5 month old; and since our first was born I realized I wanted to homeschool and now the need to homeschool is ever growing and gaining momentum. My husband is allllll about me homeschooling our kids until it comes to 1 income for 19+ (if we have more kids) years. We only have 2, how do you guys make it work financially on one income and 5 kids. I’m not being snarky, you guys are inspiring and I would love to be able to share with my husband ideas on how to do it!

    • I can answer this. I ran (am still running) a dayhome which has worked beautifully during our first 4 years of homeschooling. I would involve the other children with whatever we were doing. Learning ABC’s, I would get an extra book or two and the other kids could learn alongside…. Doing a cool science project? I’d wait for my after school care kids to come and we would have fun exploding volcanoes that they helped us build. Also, it has been great for my kids to put themselves in the role of “teacher” as well. SO cute watching my daughter teach a preschooler how to form letters and spell her name…

      I also am a cake decorator, and do some sewing… I also can do book keeping on the side as well… And we have exchange students stay with us. (another learning opportunity as we’ve learned some foreign languages, plus helping the ESL students with their English). We’ve had to be creative, but their are ways to make it all work. Plus, if I was working outside the home, our daycare for 3 kids would be most of my pay check! And I’d rather have groceries on the table, etc

      I have friends that work later in the day as well… Today, its actually more do-able because very few people actually work a 9-5 day anyways (I know because I care for children of families that can’t find daycare because their hours don’t fit this time slot)

  16. I LOVED this Rebecca. I’m going to have my hubby read it 🙂 Those comments about your husbands opinion are ridiculous IMO lol……my husband worries about the kids and I all the time, he likes the idea of knowing we are in one place and safe. It keeps his mind from wondering while he is busy keeping our community safe. It’s the nature of their work. What man doesn’t love a women that doesn’t spend money ha ha ha. They’re all real and legit comments. My husband would say the same things! I am glad you participated in the Homeschool Conference, it’s given me a lot of ideas and inspiration as a mom setting out on the homeschool journey! Thank you 🙂

    • Agreed…. men think about things very differently than women. God designed them to be the protectors and provider and I saw nothing but honour for you in his comments. Our culture has become so antagonistic to anything remotely “traditional” when it comes to men…. So awesome, and my husband would definitely say those same things too

  17. As a mother of four considering homeschooling, this article was exactly what I was looking for tonight. Thank you for being honest and real about both sides, and for showing the three different perspectives.

  18. We are just starting to consider homeschooling so I found this very helpful. I loved hearing your husband’s perspective. Realizing that homeschooling draws your family together and to your home vs being spread apart in the traditional setting is an idea that first led me to consider a new lifestyle. Your life as homeschoolers sounds beautiful, even with the challenges. It’s the love and care you are showing through it all, you and your husband are a rock for your family! Love it! Thanks for sharing this!

  19. I haven’t written a comment on a blog in forever, but this post was sooooo good – not only relevant, but to hear the truths from both mom’s AND dad’s perspective… priceless. Thank you both for being real and taking the time to put this out there.

    • Thank you so much Emily! I totally know it is rare to comment, we are all short on time! I am glad you found it helpful and look forward to sharing more authentic posts 🙂 Have a great week!

  20. I LOVED this post. Seriously, I’m bookmarking it to refer to. I was homeschooled as a child as well, and now homeschooling my boys. My absolute favourite thing about homeschooling is the freedom. Maybe not freedom for my own time but the freedom to choose what and when we learn. Taking a day off when the weather is beautiful. Allowing interest based learning to lead the way. No district telling me when my kids need to be at school. Being with my kids every step of the way as they explore and discover passions and interests I didn’t even know were there. Despite any cons, for us we know homeschooling is the best! 🙂

  21. Man oh man! I saved this from Facebook to be able to read and absorb in my free time and I am so glad I did!
    The kids perspective sounds a lot like what my son would say, I think homeschooling teaches REALITY. If there isn’t enough money for a music lesson we have to learn to budget somewhere else to have that money and everyone has to pitch in. Just like real life. And it applies in other areas of life as well.
    For the Mom side of things- WOW. Thank you so much! Especially this!
    “Homeschooling is a Weight: For better or worse, no matter how much I love it or how many benefits it has for all of us… Homeschooling is a HUGE responsibility! I feel pulled in so many different directions. I often feel like a total failure. When I lose my patience or my child is in tears because they don’t want to do it. There is a lot of pressure to perform.”
    I love and hate that feeling! It motivates me to go on and makes me want to give up! My biggest challenge is to throw away any possibility of my kids going back to a traditional school. When things get tough that’s always in the back of my mind and in need to throw it out altogether. Homeschooling is way better, but those bad days hurt to the core!
    And as for the dads perspective my husband said the exact same cons as yours!
    This article was so realistic and honest- thank you!!!

  22. I am glad to know that homeschooling allows parents to grow their relationships with their children. It would be nice not having to miss a moment of their lives. It would be a good idea to set certain times to start and end school each day to create a routine of discipline.

  23. Such an encouraging post! Thank you for sharing! I especially loved reading from three different perspectives. It’s nice knowing there are others out there who homeschool in a small/rural area and still soldier through, even when community support is low. Thanks again!

  24. Hey Rebecca — reading this post has definitely settled my mind a bit but not completely…

    My wife is wanting to homeschool our little one but I’m very nervous about the quality of education she will receive. My wife has done a massive amount of research and found a local group that has a good number of group meetings and “get togethers” for both the parents and the kids. She, while amazing, was never an A+ student (nor was I) which has honestly been my biggest point of concern for her wanting to be THE teacher of our child.

    Am I overthinking this? I fear the whole stigma behind homeschooling is what has given me this stance but I can’t bring myself to tell her “No, we are not homeschooling” because I can also see the benefits of a tailored education, if executed correctly.

    I feel very guilty about having these thoughts but my wife is already very passionate about the aspect. Any advice?

    • Hey there. Your wife sounds a lot like my sister, who is very bright but was never a great student. I think it depends on what you’re looking for from an education. Are you looking for academic excellence, vocational preparation, stellar character and citizenship? The reality is that many of the public school teachers were not A+ students either! 🙂 They can still be great teachers and so can your wife, but if you’re looking for the most academically rigorous education, then, as you’re implying, it may not be the right path for your family. That being said, homeschooling doesn’t have to be forever. Perhaps she could homeschool the early years and then you could send them to public school for high school. Many families follow this path. Good luck with your decision! I am still on the fence, myself.

  25. Hello. We are in our first year of homeschooling and your post really clarified things for me, put my thoughts into words really. I like how you did the three perspectives. I am very concerned that at the end of the day my child will turn around and say “but all I wanted was to go to regular school and be a regular kid” hopefully not though. Having to hear your husbands perspective was interesting too. Thanks

  26. Rebecca, I love this post!! The fact that you can appreciate both sides of homeschooling, as both a student and a parent, only adds to your ability to speak to the validity of homeschooling. And including your husband’s views – genius! Far too often Dad’s are left out of the picture.

    We are a homeschooling family with four kids, and I could certainly add to your list of pros and cons. The house almost always being a mess is a big con for me, but a worthwhile one. Having the kids here, getting to know them, watching them learn and grow, and building a solid relationship with them is huge for me. Knowing where they are academically is a great blessing and something I would not know if they were still in public school and I find that frustrating. Homeschooling certainly can be a challenge and requires sacrifice, but worth every frustrating moment, every lack of quiet time, and every sacrifice I make. I don’t do this to be able to say I am a homeschooler, but to provide what I believe is a better education to my children. For us, it’s more than just something we do, which is how it started. It has become who we are. Thank you for sharing Rebecca!
    -Kelly

  27. Thank you! What a great read. We have homeschooled for 10 years now. I am from Colombia, so Spanish is my 1st. language. I believe that my 3 children are fully bilingual because we homeschool. If they were attending full time school in Englis, it would be impossible for them to master my native language since my husband only speaks English. So, this is a quite wonderful homeschooling plus in our family. My 2 oldest girls have learned so much about house chires and cooking. Also to care for brother who now is 5. Developing these skills is a great asset for the family today and the one they may establish one day. Healthy eating habits! What a plus. Our kids not only see me cooking and using fresh ingridients, but also eat all source of foods. From home made Latin food, to greek, Indian, Thai, Chinese, Lebanese, and so forth. I find this to be a quite great legacy. Eating healthy and being sick less!!! Your kids friends’ at early stages and somforth are those families who you choose and feel safe and who think alike. You know as best as possible who they are playing with and this keep their innocence and loving ways longer. Precious!!! We also use our time now that we are all above 5 years old, serving weekly. Teaching them to be selfless and share theit gifts and love. Homeschooling ROCKS! Thanks for tour wisdom and experienece.

  28. Hi Rebecca,
    Your post was very helpful, I was in two minds whether I should homeschool my daughter or send her to a school, but after reading your post, I feel very confident and strong enough to homeschool her…. she is our only child and don’t want to miss a single moment of her life.
    Thank you for such a honest post.

  29. My family just moved and I am currently having a hard time in school. What we are learning in school is no where near as advanced and quick moving as my last school. My parents are considering homeschooling because of this. The only problem I have with it is I am generally pretty social in school. In my last school I had a large bunch of close friends and I was happy. In this school I already have a couple close friends, and I’m worried that if I choose homeschooling I will not be as exposed to people my age. A big reason I am considering homeschooling though is I missed the bus a couple days ago and almost had a panic attack thinking about all the work I was missing and how I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. I am so used to the school environment, I don’t know if I will be as motivated as I am in school. (Even if it is for the wrong reasons) With some research I am seriously considering the potential that this might bring me, but I am still on the fence, currently leaning towards staying in public school.

  30. Thank you so much for this wonderful post. I have been on the fence as well with this for my 11 year old son. My daughter was homeschooled only for high school because of her medical challenges and she basically did it all on her own. My ex husband is against it but my son is with me 99% of the time and middle school which he started this year has been stressful. Last year he had an issue with bullying from a teacher so I am really leary of continuing in the current school system. I am self employed so I could make it happen….but I realize there will be time I need to handle his studies. He also has been sick fairly often ( as most kids are with the change in weather, colds, etc.) so that is another reason to want to do this. Your post was very encouraging and I know this will build my son’s confidence even more and make him a well rounded adult. I am based in Los Angeles, CA.

  31. I read this, hoping to learn more about homeschooling. Grammar has always been my thing, and I don’t expect others to be as enthusiastic (or as picky) about it as I am; however, there are just too many errors throughout this article for me to ignore them. At first I thought it was just the child who had poor grammar, but as I read the rest of the post, it became clear that it’s a family thing: The parents don’t know what’s correct and incorrect to be able to teach the child well. If you’re interested, please look into run-on sentences and comma splices. There are many other English, grammar and punctuation errors throughout the post, but the comma splices and run-on sentences are what really caught my eye and will be spotted by a good high school or college English teacher. Unfortunately, this post has given me a very poor initial impression about homeschooling.

    • …so where’s your website, or is CriticalBi*ch.com already taken?
      If you have the time to analyze the grammatical errors throughout this article and blame homeschooling, please enlighten us as to the illustrious academy that you attended during your elementary and secondary years where teachers spent time teaching and speaking using proper grammar and sentence structure. It doesn’t exist, yet people like you, who weren’t able to excel at anything other than falsely finite, antiquated rules, have to pick it apart to validate your own insecurities and shortcomings.
      Do you feel smart? Better than?
      Also today’s world relies upon images and emojis to communicate. If someone’s worried about their grammar, editors and autocorrect exist.
      Your judgement astounds me, and you have missed the point of the entire post, and that’s that life experiences and love are more than a semicolon or run-on sentence.

      • so you would rather have stupid kids that love you , then a smart kid who is prepared for the harsh world out there? i see…. yea, sure. that’s the ticket! more stupid as rocks people in the world. great.

    • I realize that your comment is several months old, but I just want to say a few things. I think that I you made a good point: grammar is important. Our writing needs to communicate our thoughts clearly if we want it to be effective. I have been homeschooled myself and my mom has always been particular about proper grammar usage (though I am still learning). My sister also is very picky about grammar and she will often notice mistakes on signs. I also noticed a few grammatical errors in Rebecca’s post, but overall, I think she shared an excellent article and communicated quite well. Please don’t think that homeschoolers don’t care about proper grammar.

    • That is ridiculous that you would be that critical (and rude). If you studied a little more, Rebecca states somewhere that grammar isn’t her thing. Nature is her thing, learning with her kids is her thing, teaching her kids compassion is her thing. Too bad people forgot about, ‘If you don’t have something nice to say….’

      You know what? There are writers that grammar isn’t their thing. And if you didn’t learn anything from this except to be critical of someone else’s grammar, then you definitely missed the point of the article. Homeschool On Rebecca!

  32. I also would like to thank you for this very thorough post. I’m also writing a research paper for college on homeschooling in which I have to be objective. As someone with sisters who went from being in public school to homeschool, I didn’t have a good basis for my paper on my own. I’m not sure whether or not I will do this when I have kids, but I think that if I decide to, I would really enjoy it. I would really enjoy getting to teach my children about Jesus on a daily basis and not have them go through the bullying that I did. Thank you again, and I hope that this experience just gets better and better for you and your family

  33. Thank you for sharing. We kept right on homeschooling during our recent move. It was a super close move – just a few miles away in the same town, but as it turns out, that doesn’t really affect the packing, paper processing, cleaning, purging part of a move.

  34. I am writing a huge paper on home schooling and I needed an article like this to help set the stage. Thank you for your time in writing this and even helping to me understand a little more about homeschooling.

  35. The most biased homeschooling post i have ever read. Home schooling is for the scared and weak. Keep your children “safe” locked away inside of a home learning from a parent that has no clue or education on how to teach their own children.

  36. We are looking at the possibility of homeschooling our eight year old (three graduated from private and public schools)and this article is the best, most practical resource I’ve found so far for making the decision! As a former elementary/special
    Education teacher, I would like to reassure all the people who have commented that they feel that they aren’t “doing enough” or getting as much done for their children in comparison to their peers enrolled in school: it really is a matter of quality, not quantity. Your children are learning more from your modeling and their active participation in daily activities then they possibly could from all the worksheets and projects in the world! Home schooling isn’t for everyone, but I’m starting to see that those who choose it for their children have a definite outcome in mind with a spontaneously beautiful, exciting, engaging path that leads the way!

  37. Hello,
    I get here looking for more info about if we should start homeschooling our oldest daughter (7 years old), or still working with troubles at “regular school system” to see if we could have a different result with the same procedure. So, I found this very informative and amusing. I just have a question, what to do if we desire to go homeschooling but English isn’t my main language, neither my husband?

  38. Hi Rebecca! I read this post cuz it was one of those days… is this worth it. I really appreciate everything I read. I have four kids 14,12,9,and 5. Yes I’m an out of the box homeschooler haha. If that’s what keeps us going then that’s the way it is. You pick and choose your reasons but if the schooling part doesn’t work for Mom then it doesn’t work at all right? I also love the way you expressed everybody’s point of view. I heard some of my husband’s point of view today when I was venting (haha) but I’m going to ask him more in detail if all that venting was worth it to him 🙂 i periodically check with my kids about being homeschooled and how they feel about it. One point we’ve made as parents of homeschooled kids is to get them out there! Not because they’ll be weird unsocialized kids but because we can! We practically tell the school what we’d like our kids to be involved in. Now that’s just my experience and just our school within our district not sure with other states. My 7th grader attends choir at the local Middle School. I go pick her up and drop off my freshman for weight training and band( with all that muscle he’s far from being an unsocial nerd you know what I’m saying) jk. It’s a small school so the band teacher is also the choir teacher. He’s awesome and gives the kids a lot of opportunities. My son travels for pep band stuff and just completed a solo Ensemble on his instrument. My daughter loves choir and it gets her out there and she’s the one that could live in a corner in her room but she actually enjoys it! My son also plays basketball and other school sports and that’s where we come in getting to know parents and the community. He will also be paging for the Senate at the end of this month. When we first started homeschooling I was afraid of the question … why are you homeschooling your kids? I’d say my most famous response is… I’m jealous of time with them and I dont want teachers having them for 6.5 hours when i can! 🙂
    Ps
    Any advice on how I can relax when it comes to grades. Thanks!

  39. Thank you for this article. I have been following you for a little while now but this has got to be one of my favorite articles. It’s simply gives off the “you are not alone” message. I plan to share it with my husband as he could benefit to hear what your husbands pros/cons list. Thanks for all you do and your ministry here. Blessings to you and your family! <3

  40. Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts. They have been very helpful! I am also on the fence and considering making the leap into homeschooling. I worry about my children, who are both in public school currently. One is possibly dyslexic, dysgraphia, and the teacher constantly complains about focus issues. I want to be sure my child’s needs are being met and I fear they aren’t in public school.

    I still have a lot of thinking to do, about making this lifestyle change. “What to do, what to do.”

  41. I really enjoyed reading your post regarding the three different perspectives of homeschooling. I was curious to read the child perspective since I attended public schools as a child and have been homeschooling my youngest two children for the past 10 years. As for the mom and dad perspectives, I would say they were spot on. I especially resonated with the comment about bearing the weight of the responsibility for educating my kids as well as not being able to blame the school system if my children don’t receive a good education. That weight never goes away, but it is a real motivator to make sure my kids receive the best education I am capable of providing them. My kids were 2 month preemies and had global developmental delays, and various learning disabilities. It has been a very long haul, but I am proud to say both of my kids have caught up with their traditionally schooled peers and score in the average to above average range on standardized achievement tests. As a former special ed teacher, I know they have achieved far more than they would have in a traditional school and without the bullying that generally gets inflicted upon special ed kids. Also, my husband would definitely agree with your husband’s perspective. He is proud to tell others that I homeschool our children and on my down days he he has always been there to remind me of how far we’ve come. We’re both tired of living in a messy house, but we only have one chance to make sure our kids have the skills they will need for a successful adult life and in the end, that’s more important than a clean house.

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