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How to Deal with Homeschool Haters

We all have those people in our lives, the ones who raise their eyebrows in skepticism when we tell them we homeschool our kids. The ones who always have to make a biting comment or express their heartfelt (negative) opinion on your choice to homeschool. How do you stay strong when you are dealing with homeschool judgement? What do you say to those people? How do you talk to your kids about it when they are facing the same judgement and hearing those same comments? Make sure to pin this post!

How to deal with homeschool haters - do you have some of those in your life? Check this out! Homeschool judgement | Homeschooling encouragement

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Dealing with Homeschool Judgement: Don’t Engage.

It’s the hardest thing to do, but it can be one of the most effective approaches to homeschool judgement… don’t engage! When someone at the grocery counter makes a snide comment, smart comebacks aren’t really going to change anything. They aren’t going to make that person change their mind, they may make you feel a bit more validated and be a bit of a vent for you, but if your kids are standing there with you, it isn’t teaching them anything about how to deal with conflict. We can’t change other people’s minds, they judge because they are ignorant, and they aren’t going to be changing that based on one (or 5) comments you make in the heat of the moment.

If this is an issue with a close family member like one of your parents or in-laws… then it gets a LOT harder to not engage, because sometimes they just won’t let you! They want to talk circles around the issue, hoping to get you to see their side. If you are dealing with a difficult close friend or family member, you are going to need to establish boundaries. As awkward as it is, you need to have a frank discussion with them and tell them that this subject is off the table and their opinions are (essentially) not welcome on the matter. It is a difficult place to come to with someone you are close to, but establishing this boundary is going to save you a lot of hurtful remarks that will essentially damage your relationship with that person anyways.

Dealing with Homeschool Judgement: Stay the Course!

In the end, the person who is hurt by these comments is YOU. You are the one who can decide to just brush them off, to ignore them, to harden yourself against them so that they don’t bother you anymore. That starts with letting it go, by not engaging, by essentially ignoring those comments and not giving them the time of day. But it ends with your level of commitment, your vision, and your passion. How committed are you to homeschooling? Will a few comments discourage you and deter you from your path? Or are you sure this is what you need to do right now? Cling to that!

Write a homeschool mission statement, what is your vision? What is your primary goal with homeschooling? Is it to have crazy smart kids who are in college when they are 15? Or is it to have fun, build relationships, make learning a part of life, instil your values, etc. The list is endless. Figure out WHY you are doing what you are doing. Etch it onto a board and hang it up above your front door, so that EVERY TIME you leave, you remind yourself why you are doing this. Find encouragement to counter the criticism. Join Facebook groups, co-ops, reach out to another homeschool mom. You are NOT alone!

Helping Your Kids Understand Homeschool Judgement.

If you are hearing numerous remarks, then so are your kids! It is important to take the time to talk with them. To explain that not everyone around us is going to agree with us and some people can be rude or downright mean. Ask them how they think you should approach it! Get the conversation started, maybe your kids have been feeling judged by their friends and don’t know how to deal with it! Share some tips and possible responses so your kids have a better understanding and practical ideas moving forward.

Do you have homeschool haters in your life? Comment below!

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Comments

  1. As a homeschool mom of 15 plus years, the “homeschool haters” don’t really bother me much anymore. But when I was just starting out, the comments were very unsettling. I received a piece of advice from a veteran homeschool mom, that I have carried with me all these years. She said “Homeschooling isn’t something you DECIDE to do, it’s something you are CALLED to do.” I truly believe that the Lord issued this “call to homeschool” to me, and by doing it, I’m following His will for my life. If someone else hasn’t been “called” to be a homeschool parent, that’s fine. But don’t let them upset the course God has for YOUR life. Run YOUR race, and stay YOUR course! Blessings to you all!

  2. Sometimes, particularly with family, it is worth just avoiding the subject. Whilst it means that a fair chunk of life can’t be discussed, it may preserve a relationship which is ultimately more precious.

  3. We also live on a Canadian island but we have few haters… lots of questioners… but very few haters. We have shifted our school year so that my ds can ski all winter. So we school April through December. That has raised a few eyebrows but our life revolves around the ski hill and most people are really supportive. The questioning has largely come from those whose knowledge about homeschooling come from the MSM and have not encountered a homeschooled child before. Most become genuinely supportive once they learn more. As for family… they have learned to support or stay quiet on the subject. Just as I support, but don’t agree with, their choice to remain in the public school system.

  4. Thank you for reminding me of this! I have been struggling the last few weeks with people putting their 2 cents in about homeschooling, as far as some even telling me I should just stick em in the local Christian school where they can be socialized. It has been very difficult for me, because I feel as though the devil has used that to stir in me that “Maybe I am hurting my kids by homeschooling them” thought. I have been pondering that for weeks, and it has made me miserable! But as I am reminded in your comment, God does not lead us into dark waters……and I truly believe God has called me to homeschool my children! As tough as it is sometimes, I need daily reminders of this, because there are way too many opinionated, rude and down right mean people out there just waiting to break you down! Anyways thanks again for the remimder! ❤ God bless!

  5. Hmmm…I’m currently searching the web on how to deal with homeschool moms who are very mean to those who do anything differently than them…and has a special place of wrath for public school parents. What’s the deal with these people? Why do they think it’s okay to literally tell people they don’t love their children (or if not that then say a lot of other mean, and often untrue, things). There is no excuse for that! Why would I want my children to attend a coop with or visit the home of people like that and pick up those bad attitudes? Not a good influence at all. That’s the kind of stuff that puts people on edge when someone tells them they homeschool–it’s not about it being “weird” anymore. We want to know if you are going to be really mean.

    • It sounds like you’re combating judgement with more judgement. Take away some advice from this article. If the shoe is on the other foot, and you feel misunderstood, then you should probably shut down the discussion of homeschooling vs public with the “Mean homeschool parents”. The judgement is completely unnecessary on BOTH SIDES. We are adults, and we need to set a good example for our children. Period. It becomes very petty and childish when anger is tossed back and forth. It doesn’t solve anything. It only generates more ignorance.

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