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I Suck at Homeschooling

Here’s the deal, I know you come to me for answers because I’m a homeschool blogger. Because I post pictures of our days and you think, “Clearly, she must know more than me.” Sure, I have some experience under my belt, I know the styles and the routines and the curriculum but the reality is… the biggest thing I have learned is that I suck at this. This isn’t click bait, I’m not trying to pull you in with a title and then spin it differently, I really do just have an overall track record of inconsistency, impatience, and disappointment.

I Suck at Homeschooling

I know what I want, I know what I need to do, but life is just so darn inconsiderate of my plans. Doctors appointments, sickness, work, friendship, weather, attitudes… there are so many things that effect our days that I just sometimes feel like I’m along for the ride. “Next week will be better” I tell myself convincingly. And then we have company show up or a cold ride in.

On my own, the demands of homeschooling breed anxiety and stress and impatience and frustration. I know I have told you guys about the “number 1 secret to my homeschool day“. My successful days are not because of me, they are the days I surrender my failures and flaws to God and ask Him to do what He does, to help me do better.

But today I am writing for a different reason.

You, with the unmet expectations

Today there is a mama out there thinking that everyone has it together but her. Thinking everyone is more consistent than her… and this post is for you. You sitting there with a weight of guilt and unmet expectations and hopelessness. You that feels alone and dejected and frustrated and like you are failing your kids. You who worries that your kids are behind because of your inconsistencies.

I am not here to tell you that you are perfect, nor that you should just accept it and settle because homeschooling can be SO MUCH MORE you guys! It can be fun and exciting and interactive and full of life and love and infused with JOY. I am here to tell you that there is hope. I have had those days, and they give me peace to have grace for the realities of life in between. Sure, I suck at this, sure, my kids could be further ahead, sure, I could devote everything to homeschooling… but we do what we do. I have tasted and seen and experienced what a life giving homeschool can look like and I won’t settle for less nor will I condemn myself when school looks like Netflix and cuddles on the couch.

Reach for more, accept what is

I aspire for greatness in my kids and in my homeschool journey, but sometimes my perception of greatness is the very thing that needs to change. Greatness can be listening to my 4 year old tell me that God helped her when she was feeling scared. Greatness can be playing violin with my daughter and laughing at our mistakes. Greatness can be cleaning the house together and learning to buckle up and be more responsible and contribute to the family. Greatness can be having a nap with my 8 year old when he is sick. Greatness can be the stuff in between too and learning is happening all around us.

When we stop making school something we do and instead making learning a way of our life, something that is infused into the very fabric of our days, that is when we start to experience breakthrough in our days.

So grab a cup of coffee, stop trying to impose what you think homeschooling should be and find what it IS. Don’t settle for your struggles, battle through them, but do it gently. You are never going to be perfect my friend, nor am I. Let’s learn what it means to live victoriously!

Let’s talk about it…

Comment below, share, interact: I want to hear from you guys. Who is this for today? Message me if you prefer. And if you ever have any questions about my faith, hearing God’s voice, walking in deeper relationship with Him, I’m here and I will ALWAYS make those messages a priority. Have an AWESOME homeschool day! <3 <3 <3 Love you guys!

Comments

  1. Oh man did I need to read this today!! Stuck in a week where our landlords are going to come by for a walk through to decide if they want to renew the lease to our wonderful family with 4 YOUNG kids. 😳 *insert a tiny bit of anxiety here*. Todays “school” is cleaning…like deep cleaning, every room and making sure it looks amazing. Which in and of itself is stressful with 4 kidnadoes, but add the guilt that since the week before Thanksgiving school has been ALL over the place, and now this week is starting the same the homeschooling mom guilt just PILES ON.Thank you for your encouragement in your post and giving me some new perspective as I look at today with eyes of learning and walking through life as a learning opportunity and not a failure or guilt trip.

    • Lol, that was us yesterday.. My landlord is selling the building we live in and was bringing the real estate agent over for a walk through. We spent the day doing a deep clean as well so feel your pain. Positve side: the place looks great and the kids learned the importance of keeping a clean home 🙂

  2. You made me cry. I love everything you just wrote. This is my first time homeschooling and I find myself struggling. Sometimes I would cry to God to just help me get through the day. Im blessed to have found your blog.

  3. I feel the same way as soon as I ‘go back to work’. I took a long long break the past two months from my site. Numbers are crashing (& income) but work took over homeschooling last year and I truly felt that my grade 2 homeschooling greatly suffered. We started homeschooling first week of August to get ‘a head start’ on the year. I’ve felt SO great and so sure of this homeschooling journey the past two months. I added work in this past week because I couldn’t handle the numbers going down anymore. My stress, anxiety, patience and my sanity has made me completely fall apart. I cannot seem to do both, as much as I try. But yet.. we need dual income to buy our house next fall… Life is so hard. I feel like most days I am not the role model I am supposed to be.

    Anyways, thanks for sharing and I also feel like I suck at this when I do not devote my full focus on it. I don’t know how to find balance. I think working from home moms really struggle with this, and not getting ‘a break’

  4. Raising and homeschooling 3 grandkids- 1 with special needs. Retired to do so. They are my joy – just get so tired! Pray for energy and health to do it all again!

    • I am raising and homeschoing 2 grandcholdren and I had to retire also. I feel like a complete flop but praying and believing it gets better! I will pray for you !

    • I’m now considering retiring and homeschooling my 9 year old grandson, but am a little bit worried that I won’t be successful at it. I have never done this before. My grandson is very sociable, and we’ll adjusted, but does not like public school at all. I just want the best life for him and that’s why I’m considering homeschooling. If anyone has any advice to offer, that would be wonderful and much appreciated.

  5. I really needed this. It resonates so deeply… My oldest daughter just had a baby a month ago, and I’ve been so busy helping her, doctors appointments etc that we’ve basically taken the past month “off” from school.. I just can’t ever seem to juggle it all.. I’m overwhelmed (and outnumbered). Lol.. (Trying to) homeschool 3 kids is very hard. 15 year old isn’t ingested in ANYTHING. 12 year old does whatever i give him/ask of him. 9 year old slams on the brakes, and the battle begins (if it resembles “school”, he doesn’t want to do it.. I don’t know how to make it “fun”.. Most days, i want to throw in the towel”, and send those 2 back… And then i remember 3 years ago, God putting it on my heart to bring my babies home (from school). I just wish i could find balance. A happy medium. Could figure out how to make it fun, and interesting.. Causei feel like I’m failing, and floundering. Not only me, but especially them. :'( Most days, i wantto cry (or run away screaming, pulling my hair out). I feel like” i can’t do this” and “don’t know what I’m doing”… And i sometimes question God “WHY did you want me to bring them home?, why are you entrusting me to do this?, can’t you see i stink at it… And then somebody has a “lightbulb moment” and the math (or science or whatever) “clicks”, and I’m briefly reminded.. I wish every day could be like this. ❤

  6. Just what I needed to hear today. I’m recovering from surgery, and I’ve been feeling like we are a little “behind “ in things. These comments have put my anxieties to rest! Thank you for sharing!

  7. I have so many roles to full. I am exhausted and in survival mode way too often. I started this homeschooling gig because my kiddo with special needs was crumbling mental health wise because the school wasn’t meeting her needs. It was taking our family down too. That was 3 years ago. Life just seems to keep happening like my hubby (our sole income earner) was in hospital for a week just recently. I want to feel some joy and peace in my days but mostly it feels like stress, survival, and doing a poopy job at everything: being a mom, an educator, a therapist, a coordinator, housekeeper, wife, financial manager, landscaper, nurse, interpreter, etc.

  8. I feel like I suck at this too! My friends who homeschool all have different ways of doing it, but all seem to be better than me. My hubby was laid off for 6 weeks which made getting into our school schedule this year hard. Now he’s back to work with a different schedule, so we are adapting to that now. We are in prep mode for winter, so knowing that we learn throughout the day even if it’s not “school” was just what I needed to hear! Thank you

  9. Girl, I have been trying to get my daughter out of bed since 9 am. It is now 11:18 and we still have not started homeschooling. YES!! I feel like I am failing everyday because she hates school and we didn’t start until her middle school year. I am ready to throw her into public school and just get a full-time job. I am tired of begging, asking, pleading, yelling, threatening her to want to do homeschooling. I am angry because she said that she was looking forward to this year but it was not true at all.

    I don’t feel like others have it more together than I do and I beat myself up because I just can’t seem to get her to want to do her work. I am ready to cry because I feel like I have failed and this was nothing like I thought it was going to be for me.

    Thanks for the post

  10. Thank you for this post. All of the comments are exactly how I feel as well! In survival mode, stressed and no enjoying life at all. Maybe I’m putting too many expectations on how I want our homeschooling to look like. I find that if I don’t prepare every weekend and every night, then our day is a disaster…stressed, yelling, attitudes, wasted time, always behind (even with meals and naps and cleaning). The house is so disorganized and I feel like a failure. I have got to figure out a routine before we baby gets here in December and adds to the chaos. Of course I feel like I can’t vent to anyone about it because they all think I’m crazy for homeschooling in the first place. I definitely need to start my day in prayer and God’s presence and I haven’t been doing that. I do question sometimes “If you called me to do this? then why do I suck at it so bad?” 😞
    I’m not giving up though…not just yet. 🙏🏻

  11. You are beautiful and that’s not even the most interesting thing about you. Thank you so much for this post I am struggling in our home school everyday is a struggle and I worry about failing. Even though in my heart I know that God has called me here and that the out come is not about me, my mind tells me, ” You are a failure and you are ruining the lives of your children”. Thank you for helping me to step back reassess so that we may move forward. May you live in the blessings of God!

  12. You totally ROCK!! Thank you for all that you do, you are an inspiration, and with all of your wonderful ideas you make homeschooling easier for the rest of us. I hope you have someone like you moving a few of the hurdles out of your way.

  13. This is me everyday, that feeling that I’m not doing enough, that I made the wrong choice for my son, that he won’t learn anything from me and will be completely behind his peers. I start each morning trying to keep things positive but there’s always something that comes up, that interrupts our day, that throws us off our game and getting back track is struggle.

    Thank you for sharing your feelings and keeping it real. Knowing that it’s not just me experiencing these struggles helps me take each day as it is and know that tomorrow will be better.

  14. Love the raw, beautiful, crazy life truths! Homeschooling rocks! But we all stub our toes on those rocks. 😉 but its worth it!

  15. Thanks for sharing about your daily struggles. I am a mom and professional caregiver. Having worked with children for close to 30 years in different kinds of settings and I would like to share a little secret with all of you homeschooling moms with you. We teachers do not have it all together either. Our days do pretty much look and feel the same as yours. Most parents do not realize this though. You all are doing a great job. Believe me your kids will be much better for it. You give them an opportunity that many children in my care could only dream of and most of them would be much better off in a homesetting. I am convinced that all the school shootings we are having is a desperate cry from all these children for attention and you even with all your flaws are giving your children more of what they need than any single teacher could do. I have one suggestion for you. The difference between a homeschooling Mama and a teacher… A teacher gets breaks- much needed breaks. So my suggestion try to get with other homeschooling Parents help each other out. Maybe come up with a schedule to give each other breaks. Figure out who is good at teaching what- use this. Besides an old trick we teachers use, when the children have days they simply don’t want to listen, we ask another teacher to step in. I don’t know why this is the way it is, but than the kids will listen again. Maybe that is why my mom always used the phrase ” Wait until your father gets home:….*. Keep trucking on all of you tired mamas out there. You are doing a wonderful job and learning can take place in all kinds of settings. Don’t forget there is not only learning found in book learning- we have enough people who cannot think outside the box because they are only booksmart. I often wonder when I watch science programs about spectacular buildings etc in days long ago, days before we had schools how such magnificence was accomplished. We do not only learn by sitting down doing boring rote work. We learn by watching and doing and enjoying goods miracles. There is a living classroom out there filled with wonders ready to explore everyday. When I let my ego and worry get out of the way and let the children take my learning ideas to where they want to take them the most learning has occurred. So some days just have a learning skill in mind and ask a child to teach it and see what they come up with. You will be amazed. Keep on trucking ladies. Together we will change this world.

  16. Thank you for posting this. Feeling overwhelmed? Failing? Missing out? Absolutely! my 9 yr old wants to homeschool yet refuses to do half the work. I don’t know how to inspire or motivate. I am so worried he is behind. We have had many of life’s happenings come our way. Strep, croup, abscessed tooth, 80yo Nana moving in, house under renovations..where does it end? I pray every day for guidance. I’m averaging 50-50. I must admit I have been asking him to teach me about what he has learned. Sometimes he amazes me and other times I wonder if we were learning the same subject. One step at a time.

  17. I have just spent some time reading this brilliant article, but also lots of the replies. I wish I could send every one of you a great big hug. It really helps me to remember that we are not alone on this adventure. I wish all of you well and the best of luck for this week of ‘school’ whatever that looks like. At this precise moment my children are making posters for Daddy who has been away all week. 10 minutes ago I felt guilty about that, now I’m loving it. So thank you Rebecca

  18. Because we are moving to another country with 3 kids next year, we’re exploring homeschooling. It is something we find very interesting. The kids are very enthousiastic (duh). But this article writes about my doubts and feelings with this whole project: Are we good enough to succeed this amazing project? Will be reading more on you’re blog tonight. Although we are from Europe ( the netherlands) it is stil very interesting. Thanks for sharing. Just what I needed.

  19. Oh wow did I need to read this today. The last few weeks have been hard and I’ve felt like giving up and sending my kids off to school – but then God reminds me why I’m doing this. I struggle with perfectionism and that does not mesh well at all with homeschooling. I feel like my kids are so behind sometimes or that I’m not the one who should be teaching them. Thanks for the encouragement. I’m loving reading your other articles as well.

  20. Ugh. I’m trying to get better. Sigh.
    Some days are better than others, so there’s that. I’ve definitely told myself that “next week will be better” only for next week to come and it’s like last week all over again. Oh well. What’s done is done, I can only repent for my own procrastination, lack of attentiveness, and my attitude and move forward. Grateful that God is a God of 2nd (and 3rd, 4th, 5th…) chances! I have to remember to give myself and my children grace. And it also helps to get out of the house and get busy with things that distract us from routines, schedules, tests, assignments, and curricula, as well as our own (perceived) failures and shortcomings.

    Great and timely post. Thanks so much!

  21. Today is 10/15/19. A year and a day since you posted this and I am just finding it today. I found it in the middle of my own meltdown. I googled “my failing homeschool.”
    Once again, I find myself here, feeling that all I tried to do and why was wrong. Too much to post here but I know we all are stricken with painful situations and doubt.
    I’ve been “officially” homeschooling for 12 years but you all know we really begin homeschooling at birth. Teaching lessons like, you are loved and cared for, I’m here for you, you are safe.
    My teens are still learning lessons, but it seems to be all the wrong ones. Like, you don’t have to study, it’s okay to cheat and if it’s too hard, don’t bother.
    And sadly I can’t help but put the blame on my husband who has actually verbally articulated all these things to our kids.
    Is is any wonder I live in tension.
    But I have to admit that I am also blames because I’m inconsistent. You see, I’m also a recovering perfectionist trying to be more flexible. So I put out the expectations, house rules etc only to have my spouse relax those rules whenever it suits him.
    I just wanted to let you know that I found this post, a year later, and why I was looking for some kind of comfort, perspective, ….something to talk me off the ledge.
    Thanks for being there.
    Homeschool On fellow mama. Better days always return.

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