Dear mom who is feeling overwhelmed and defeated,
I don’t know your name, where you are from, how many kids you have or what has happened today to bring you to this letter, but I know YOU. I know what it is like to be at the end of my rope. I know what it is like to escape to the bathroom to cry in utter desperation. To feel completely and totally ill-equipped for my life and wonder what I am doing. I too have had bad days that spiral into worse days that feel bleak. I have looked back on a day with self-loathing, feeling like I am a failure.
I too have bought into the lie that I am not enough.
But it IS a lie.
You are not meant to simply survive, to trudge through the days of your life with trepidation and uncertainty. Nor to beat yourself down, to draw inward in despair and hopelessness. YOU, dear mom, are designed to fight! To walk boldly and vibrantly through your days, to reach out and shine forth!
Your inadequacies, your quirks, are part of what makes you the best fit for your job! We all fail, it’s what we do in those moments and with those failures that determines what comes out of them.
How to move on when you’re ready to move out!
So what do you DO with yourself when you are at a complete loss. When you have no more energy or strength to fight??? When the last straw was broken a week ago and you’re ready to blow?
- Breathe! Take a time out, if you’re in your room stay there! At this point you need a bit of space and a few minutes of peace to change your mindset, if you don’t hit the pause button it will only escalate
- Pray! Honestly, this is the main thing that gets me out of my funk. The reality is that on my own I am not able to do it all all the time. My life is insane, without ceasing! I need some JESUS to get me through the chaos! I pray for patience, for strength, for peace and joy. I take time to just sit in God’s presence and let Him speak to me and just refill me; because sister, I’m dry!
- Sometime very soon after you hit this point, you need to make a list. Make a list of EVERYTHING you are involved in: ministry, children’s activities, classes, regular commitments. Sit down with your husband and talk about where you are at, how you are feeling. Show him the list and see if you can come up with some things to cut from your life. For me, the biggest way to protect myself against burnout is to restrict my commitments. cIt may be just for a season, it may be forever, but cut whatever you can from that list to free yourself up and reduce your stress level (remember even good stress is stress).
- Commit to taking half an hour or more to yourself EACH DAY! This could be getting up early, sipping a coffee while you check the online world (my routine). It could be going for a walk or hitting the gym, even just having a shower with the door locked and getting ready alone counts! Spend some time building INto yourself to help guard against burnout.
That list will see you through your crises. That moment of feeling completely overwhelmed, angry, frustrated, at the end of your rope. But it doesn’t have to stop there! You COULD work at preventing that low point. Through cutting your commitments and taking time to yourself each day you will be well on your way to a less stressful life. But spending time with God each day is honestly key.
I have discovered that on my own, I actually kind of suck. I yell and get impatient, I can be unproductive and downright lazy! But the days that I spend time in the word, that I fill myself with God, and not depend on myself, my day is completely different. 180˚ different girls! Because the fact is that supermom doesn’t exist (not for long anyways before she burns out). It is the superCHARGED moms that go the distance. The ones who aren’t trying to do it all on their own. Who are getting recharged right from the source!
Because the truth is, not only are you enough, you were MADE for this. You’ve got this mama!