Letting Go of Expectations

Is it enough?

We all have them, the burdens we bear on our backs, trudging through the trenches of our homeschool journey tired, weighed down, and anxious. Our expectations are a result of our own experiences, outside pressures that we face and even inner fears. Perhaps we expect it to look perfect, maybe we are unrealistic in our vision of what homeschooling looks like. Or maybe you are trying to recreate school at home instead of embracing the differences between home education and desks and recess. Maybe you want the strict schedules and are afraid your kids are going to fall behind. Perhaps it is a family member or friend who is judging you and watching to prove this is all some colossal mistake.

This is convention season, the time of year when we pack up our families or slip away for a weekend retreat to be inspired and encouraged and filled with fresh vision for our homeschool. I am confident that you will leave changed, with a fresh perspective and something you want to bring back or do differently. But there is a hard truth that most people don’t talk about:

Desire isn’t enough.

Wanting a different homeschool will not bring change. Being unhappy with your homeschool will not bring change. Hearing a good idea and falling in love with it will not bring change. It can be the catalyst, but it isn’t magic.

You cannot change your family dynamics, your routine, your expectations and vision or expectation overnight. I know you want to–but the truth is that it takes time to make change. It is the moment-by-moment, day-by-day decisions that make the difference and one day you will look back and see how far you have come!

My information is everywhere, I’m working on a new book where I can condense my heart into one place. But until then, I have put together this post with all the relevant links to various podcast episodes, blog posts, and YouTube videos where I discussed this subject as well as some notes from my session to give you a place to organize your thoughts.

Letting Go of Expectations

1. The Blog Post

How to Let Go of Public School Expectations

2. The Podcast Episodes

10 Steps to the Perfect Homeschool Day (there’s some sarcastic humour in this one)

What if it’s not enough?

How to Actually LIKE Homeschooling

3. The YouTube video

4. The Instagram posts

 

View this post on Instagram

 

You may see a five year old copying her letters, but I see a story played out in her little face. I see determination, focus, and concentration. I see in her a budding blossom: the love of learning. This love of learning is fragile, it is easily trampled, it doesn’t take much to make it wither and die. But it can be cultivated and supported and fed and grow into something that no longer needs me. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ I see a 5 year old who often does not want to do school and plays imaginary horse games instead. I see a girl who would rather jump in the puddles and snuggle with mommy and read books in our PJs and color artistic masterpieces that are strewn about: little folded treasures tucked away in pockets and purses and drawers where she gives them to me. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ She is the captain on this ship of her education, I am just the First Mate. I control the atmosphere and environment of her mind, but she decides when and how the learning will happen. She decides what information she will hold and what she will deem boring. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ You guys there is no forcing this. You can do all the books, fill in all the blanks, but you cannot control the value your child places on said information. You cannot attach meaning, only they can do that, and it most often happens when they get to let curiosity lead rather than tradition and deadlines. ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ Think outside the box, dare to dream bigger, learning can be so much more fun when you do <3 ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ ⁣⠀ #homeschoolon #homeschool #homeschooling #homeschoolers #homeschooler #homeschooled #homeschoollife #homeschoolfamily #thisishomeschool #homeschoolmom #homeschoolmoms #homeschoolingmom #homeed #homeeducation #homeschooldays #unschooling #childdirectedlearning #unschool #unschoolers #charlottemason #charlottemasoneducation #charlottemasonlifestyle #charlottemasonhomeschool

A post shared by Homeschool On (@homeschoolon) on Mar 24, 2019 at 10:00am PDT

 

View this post on Instagram

 

Rebecca’s thoughts on FOMO (fear of missing out):⁣ ⁣ Registration is popping up again: “Put your kids in kickboxing! Sign up for swimming lessons. Last chance for dance! Don’t miss the deadline for gymnastics!”⁣ ⁣ I want to give my kids the world, but if my mental sanity goes down because I can’t cope, then we are not better off.⁣ ⁣ I want to offer my kids opportunity, but if we aren’t eating home cooked meals and getting fat and sick from McDonalds then I may need to reassess my priorities.⁣ ⁣ I want to get out and be with my friends. But if I don’t get any school done because we are too busy or yell at my kids because I am overwhelmed or we are falling behind… I may need to pull back.⁣ ⁣ I am not against all this extra-curricular stuff. I wish I could do it all. If you want to put your kids in something because it’s a good fit, because they are gifted, because you have the budget for it, because it works for your family then go for it!⁣ ⁣ But if you are doing it because you are worried you will miss out or because everyone else is, stop!⁣ Think big picture, don’t make decisions based on fear or pressure or insecurity, make your decisions based off of prayer and discussion and what works for you and then do not be swayed.⁣ ⁣ Sometimes you have to say no.⁣ ⁣ #learningtosayno #FOMO #momlife #icantdoitall #mykidswillthankme #wereeatingroasttonightbecausemomstayedhome #solidarity #homeschoolon #keepcalmandhomeschoolon ⁣ #homeschool #homeschooling #homeschoolers #homeschooler #homeschooled #homeschoollife #homeschoolfamily #thisishomeschool #homeschoolmom #homeschoolmoms #homeschoolingmom #homeed #homeeducation #homeschooldays

A post shared by Homeschool On (@homeschoolon) on Mar 2, 2019 at 5:30pm PST

5. The notes